holly, heather, blossom

People spoken with more than a few times,
to make arrangements for Phyllis' care,
on returning to her own home after hospital
June 10-18

Holly, Heather, Blossom, Claire, Kristin, Pam, Dalane, Nicole, Catherine, Karen, Bev, Sandy, Lynn, Annabelle, Pat, Cheryl, Susan, Myra, Regine, Jennifer, Katarina, Adelle, Ruth, Joan, Cathy, Sandra, Sarah, Camilla, Cindy, Sharon, Beverley, Joanna, Tanya, Darlene, Helen, Tammy, Courtney, Debbie, Petula, Diane, Donna, Kelly, Lois, Gloria, Pat, Karen, Dawn, Karen, Christine, Nora, Irene, Carlene, Maureen, Wanda, Laura.

apple plum dumplings, apricots

Phyllis, May 31,
2nd day in Emerg

Apple plum dumplings, apricots, why am I thinking of apple dumplings, isn't it funny how the mind works. I'll bet dad has another one, wouldn't it be funny if when I get to heaven, there he is sitting with his arm around someone. Oh no, I wouldn't get angry, I'd laugh, just what I expected, I'd say, and then behind her back I'd shove in a big needle. Where am I? Is this a hotel? I'm ready to go, I have no purpose anymore. Why are people here if they have no purpose? Your eyes are blue, so blue. Funny how you forget these things. No, I'm not thirsty or hungry or cold or uncomfortable. I'm nothing. Where do you live, it's in a forest, right? Near water. I thought so. A forest and water, that's what I remember. How far is it? Fifteen minutes by car? That's too far to walk, I don't think I'd make it. My mother was a good mother. I'm not sure why. I can't remember why she was good, what made her so good, what she did. I'll never be that good. You have to run after kids. All the time. Every day, all day. It adds up. I guess I don't have to do that anymore. Time goes by, where are those years? If dad was still here everything would be okay.

looking at you makes me think

Phyllis' apartment
pre dinner comments
March 23, 5:20 - 5:25 p.m.

Looking at you makes me think: how old am I if this is my daughter?? Where are my cigarettes? It's not nice outside today, grey. Too bad dad's not sitting here, I'd like to look at him. I hope he's got somebody else, he must have or he'd come get me; he doesn't like to be alone. Why am I still here? Why am I so down, so tired? I used to be somebody, I used to tell people what to do; just ask Phyllis they'd say, she knows everything; now I don't know what day it is, I don't know anything. Is it 5:30 yet? When is supper? Did I eat already? Dad shouldn't have died. I'm nobody now. Don't comb my hair so rough, it's like you're peeling potatoes. How would you like it?