apple plum dumplings, apricots

Phyllis, May 31,
2nd day in Emerg

Apple plum dumplings, apricots, why am I thinking of apple dumplings, isn't it funny how the mind works. I'll bet dad has another one, wouldn't it be funny if when I get to heaven, there he is sitting with his arm around someone. Oh no, I wouldn't get angry, I'd laugh, just what I expected, I'd say, and then behind her back I'd shove in a big needle. Where am I? Is this a hotel? I'm ready to go, I have no purpose anymore. Why are people here if they have no purpose? Your eyes are blue, so blue. Funny how you forget these things. No, I'm not thirsty or hungry or cold or uncomfortable. I'm nothing. Where do you live, it's in a forest, right? Near water. I thought so. A forest and water, that's what I remember. How far is it? Fifteen minutes by car? That's too far to walk, I don't think I'd make it. My mother was a good mother. I'm not sure why. I can't remember why she was good, what made her so good, what she did. I'll never be that good. You have to run after kids. All the time. Every day, all day. It adds up. I guess I don't have to do that anymore. Time goes by, where are those years? If dad was still here everything would be okay.